TechStyles

Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife – the knife world’s evil genius

Scott Fitzgerald
Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife, blades out

In a re-boot of the Crocodile Dundee film, the Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife could well be slotted into the “That’s not a knife… this is a knife” scene.

It looks like a satirical pisstake, but the Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife is most assuredly a real product. Part with US$999 for the Giant, and you could be the king of the campground.

The 87 implements (listed below) on this Swiss Army Knife perform 114 functions. There’s your standard knife and tool implements, a smattering of golf and personal grooming tools, a cigar cutter, laser pointer, flashlight, and, well, more.

The Giant Swiss Army Knife is 8.75 inches wide, and weighs 0.9 kilograms. Not surprisingly, it beat all comers in the Most Functions on a Penknife in the 2008 Guinness Book of Records.

The Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife has been around for a couple of years now, which makes me wonder just what the evil geniuses at Wenger are going to do next in this vein. Voice activated tool selection? Flux capacitor repair tool? Electric eel attachment for plumbers? Remote control function so you can click a button and have your big-ass Swiss Army Knife knife wend its way to you? Or are they thinking product mash-up, and have been talking to the evil geniuses at Nerf?

I don’t know the answer to this. But I really want to!

If the Giant Swiss Army Knife is a little too much, check out the rest of the Wenger range at the Wenger Store on Amazon.

What’s the Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife packing?

Here’s the list of what Wenger has packed into the Giant Swiss Army knife, testing the very limits of modern metallurgy and pocket technology:

So what do you think? Could you see your pocket keeping company with this Swiss Army Knife?